Since people often ask “Alright, well this is fantasy! Why can’t we have boob shapes in plate armor?!” I decided to make a post about it. My frustration has nothing to do with historical inaccuracy and I’m all for imagination and freedom— but I’d like to (very quickly) illustrate this for you:
in order to give emotional resonance to the strange stock image post-credits scene at the end of mass effect 3, i like to pretend that the grandpa speaking is joker. that he’s lived a long life being cantankerous, ornery and not so funny that it explains why someone hasn’t…
after the war was over, i was never the same
I swear my heart is never going to mend after this stupid game
Confession of an ex-Ashley hater…
Okay guys, since it’s Virmire Survivor appreciation week, I feel that I’ve got to get this off my chest.
I used to hate Ashley. With a passion. Until something wonderful and unexpected happened.
You see, Ash and I really started on the wrong foot. As soon as I heard her comment on the Citadel about “not being able to make the difference between the aliens and the animals”, as well as other comments that I interpreted back then as highly xenophobic, I heavily disliked her. Then, I learned that she could go as far as killing Wrex, and it was the end of our “relationship”, so to speak. Any hope of us ever relating to each other as human beings and becoming “friends” was gone (though I did choose the paragon options with her most of the time, for the game’s sake and because I didn’t want to go as far as being a cruel bitch just because I didn’t get along with her).
So, as soon as I could (i.e. pretty much that first time you come across Wrex), I immediately stopped taking her on missions. Not a single time would I select her to be in my party.
The obvious result? No party banter between her and any other members of my squad. No teasing Kaidan at Chora’s Den. No emotional connection. Simply put, I unwittingly cut her off from anything that just might have helped me relate to her.
Then, to add insult to injury, I began noticing that my very favorite companion, Kaidan, appeared to be systematically ignored in official promotional material in favor of Ashley.
this.
Strawberry Banana Bread
So I suck at taking food photos, but there you go.
STRAWBERRIES. BANANAS. One of the most glorious combinations on earth, and now it’s in bread. Could you ask for more? I think not.
Gamers get hella uncomfortable over male sexuality too. Can you imagine a “good male character who just happens to be wearing sexually exploitative outfits because he’s ok with his masculinity?” Constantly has the camera pan lovingly over his asscrack and firm glutes, and big ole dangly ballsack that is totes sweaty from all this MMA and soldiering. Time to hit the showers, and do you, personally, think it’s ok to have a long slow pan up the dude’s package (indiscreetly hidden in a jock of course), to his chiseled physique and erect nipples (pierced). He’s not even a Bond-esque confident man, he’s basically a weird Bowie caricature that’s constantly having near-dickslips in every single cinematic as the completely nonsexualized female characters do their business of being gruff and shooting dudes and advancing the plot. Finally, at the end he falls in love (out of nowhere) and/or is killed by the big baddie.
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